Forgiveness does not come easy ...

Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

The first thing that all of the disciples did when they came to Christ was to ask for forgiveness and to forgive others.

Since coming to Christ it has been a chore for me. I wake up each day asking God to show me any unforgiveness that I might be trying to hide, so that I may confess it and be freed from it.

For me this is extremely hard. I am struggling thru a divorce and anyone who has been this route knows it's hard not to think, my mate did this, or my mate did that. It does not matter what my spouse has done. God forgave him already, so why shouldn't I ?

In Matthew chapter 5 God asks us to BLESS those who hurt us. It's hard to imagine asking for a blessing when you are in such pain and hurt. I have found that it is true, God does bless those who bless others.

The Lord has blessed me with the knowledge that forgiving my husband did not depend on my husband asking for forgiveness. After all, it's he who wanted out, and he doesn't want anything from me right now. If I waited for my spouse to ask, I'd wait for a lifetime for something that may never happen. So I took a picture of him, and I spoke the words to the picture. Telling him everything that I'd realized that happened and asked for his forgiveness.

It was hard to let go of the past, to honestly forgive, but that's what Christ asked me to do when I read this passage:
forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus ~ Philippians 3:13-14.

I knew then that if I were to be able to have a more intimate relationship with Christ, then I had to forgive my spouse, my spouses family, my friends, my family and even myself. The hardest person to forgive was GOD.

That's right, you did not misread, sometimes you need to forgive God as well. If you do not, then you can harbor bad feelings and let the devils pitfalls of anger, or hurt dwell in you and ruin your relationship with the Heavenly Father. God is your Father, you need to talk to him like you would anyone else. I had to tell him how I honestly felt.... " Lord, I can't believe that you allowed my husband to walk out on me. Lord, you hate divorce, why are you allowing this to happen ? and the hardest was ... Lord, it's bad enough that my daughter and I are going thru this divorce, why then did you allow our car, our home, my job and my finances to be ripped away from us ? I did not want unforgiveness to hinder my prayer life and the close relationship with Christ, so I had to come to my knees and tell God, that although I did not understand the why's I know that I am not supposed to know right now, and that I honestly thanked him for it and forgive him.

So the tears fell, but my heart became lighter and I felt more loved. That's right, my Heavenly Father gave me the hug that I was longing to have for so long.

I urge anyone reading this to learn to forgive... Not forgiving will:

* allow you to remain walking in darkness ~ 1 John 2:11
* allow you to judge others and not yourself ~ Matthew 7:3-5
* Create stumbling blocks to the answers for your prayers ~ Mark 11:25
* allow the enemy to fill you with vengefull thoughts ~ Proverbs 24:29

BUT MOST OF ALL if you don't forgive GOD won't forgive you !!! Matthew 6:15

Prayer:
Heavenly father, you have been so gracious to me, and I pray that whoever reads this finds healing as well. It is you lord who, "heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds " Psalm 147:3. Lord, we praise your holy name that you can do that for us. Protect us lord, do not allow the enemy to convince us to hold on to offenses, but teach us your loving ways of forgiveness. Teach us to be merciful to everyone. We praise your holy name that we can do "all things through Christ show stengthens us", and therefore I know that we all have the strenght to forgive. We thank you that you will be beside us as we live thru the hurts and the dissappointments and that you will be holding our hands as we come to you and the others for forgiveness. Lord, we come before you today asking you to shed light on any pent up unforgiveness that the enemy blinds us with, help us to openly confess them to you so that we can live a life peacefull. Teach us to Love the way that you do, for " if there is any consulation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind" (Phillippians 2:1-2) Thru the mighty, powerful, loving name of Jesus we pray...amen.